Jokes (Adult Content)

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Bartman
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Re: Jokes (May Contain Adult Content)

Postby Bartman » Sat Sep 05, 2009 2:08 pm

Thats fucking gold!
They don't call me the man with the rubber arm for nothing you know.............

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Datto_610
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Re: Jokes (May Contain Adult Content)

Postby Datto_610 » Sat Sep 05, 2009 3:36 pm

:agree: Thats some fucking funny stuff!

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Re: Jokes (Adult Content)

Postby Dattochriswagon » Fri Oct 02, 2009 5:57 pm

Here is some fresh from the islands!

The TAB have upped the odds for David Tua word is he has a wave full of Samoan supporters comin over for the fight. :lol:

After the Samoan Tsunami the USA have pleged Aid to be dropped off. New Zealand has pledged replacement Samoans :lol:

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Re: Jokes (Adult Content)

Postby Datto_610 » Sat Oct 03, 2009 12:34 pm

LOL i love non PC jokes like that! :lol:

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Re: Jokes (Adult Content)

Postby kartboy » Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:26 pm

-----Don't you just love it..........




I just signed my dog up for welfare payments. He should be eligible!

He's black, lazy, can't speak English & has no fucking idea who his father is...

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Re: Jokes (Adult Content)

Postby Josh » Fri Feb 26, 2010 3:38 pm

Image
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Re: Jokes (Adult Content)

Postby dirtyleppa » Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:18 pm

i wanna go on that plane :lol:
SeEn-ThE_lIgHt wrote:I dunno, always seem to be fiddling with it


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Re: Jokes (Adult Content)

Postby torqued » Thu Mar 04, 2010 8:45 pm

Best laugh ive had for a while. :thumbsup:
"It's ok, we know what to do...we talked about this a lot on the internet."

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Re: Jokes (Adult Content)

Postby dirtyleppa » Tue Mar 09, 2010 10:27 pm

what do you call the excess skin around a vagina?

a woman!!! :lol:

sorry if it offends/dont care!!!
SeEn-ThE_lIgHt wrote:I dunno, always seem to be fiddling with it


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Re: Jokes (Adult Content)

Postby Josh » Mon Jun 14, 2010 2:51 pm

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

------------

I asked my wife,

'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'

she said.

So I suggested,

'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started...

----------

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said,

'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying

'Yes..'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started...


-----

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

'I'll have the rump steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started.....

-----

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust'

And then the fight started..

------

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a set of bathroom scales.

And then the fight started...

------
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed,

'He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' I said,

'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

-----

I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,

'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started

-----

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed..

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the football, making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said,

'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
1969 Mk1 Escort Coupe~ CA18DET full-on project
1972 B110 Deluxe~ Daily
1965 P410~ Wifey daily


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